Prior to the Ceremony
Aufruf
Veiling the Bride - B'Deken Di Kalle

The Wedding Ceremony
The Marriage Contract - Ketubah
The Wedding Canopy - Huppah
The Betrothal - Erusin
The Nuptuals - Nisuin

After the Ceremony
Breaking the glass
Union - Yihud
The mitzvah meal - S'eudah Mitzvah and Joy - Simcha

Aufruf

The Aufruf is the occasion when the bride and groom (traditionally just the groom) are given an aliyah in the synagogue during services the Shabbat before their wedding.  Following the aliyah the congregants throw candy at and dance around the couple.

The Torah, also known as the five books of Moses, is the most important document in Jewish life.  The rabbis divided the Torah into portions and one is read each week, allowing the Torah to be read in its entirety each year.  Many synagogues, such as ours operate on a trianual cycle completing the Torah every three years.  In this case, a third of the weekly Torah portion is read each week.  The weekly Torah reading is divided into 7 sections and a member of the congregation is called up to bless the torah before each section is read.  This is called an aliyah (literally, "to go up"). The Torah reading is the centerpiece of the Shabbat services at the synagogue.  It is considered a great honor to have an aliyah.   

Veiling the Bride - B'Deken Di Kalle

In traditional Jewish weddings the ceremony is proceeded by separate men's and women's receptions.   In our case we will just be with our parents and our attendants.  Prior to the wedding ceremony, the men lead the groom to the bride, where he veils her.  By placing a veil on the bride, the groom sets her apart from all others.   This tradition, in the middle eastern custom of modesty, is attributed to the bible.  When Rebecca saw Isaac approaching her across the fields where she was tending to her fathers sheep she asked who he was.  When she was told that he was her promised groom, she covered her face with her veil out of modesty.  In the Jewish ceremony, the groom places the veil over his bride also in remembrance of Jacob, whose father-in-law, Laban, followed another ancient middle eastern custom of bait and switch. Laban put a heavy veil on his daughter Leah and was able to pass her off as her sister Rachel, who Jacob intended to marry.

The Marriage Contract - Ketubah

The ketubah is the marriage contract that grooms are required to give their brides at a Jewish wedding.  The ketubah spells out the requirements a husband is to give to his wife, food, clothing, necessities and  conjugal rights.  Not exactly romantic but consistent with Judaism's often legalistic character.  The document currently used was written about 2000 years ago in Aramaic (the Jewish vernacular language of the time).  Two witnesses are required to sign the document.  Today, the bride and groom as well as the rabbi also typically sign as well.

Traditionally, ketubot were beautifully decorated objects.  We are very fortunate that our ketubah is being painted by Shanna's mother, Floy.

The Wedding Canopy - Huppah

A Jewish wedding ceremony takes place under the wedding canopy, or Huppah.  The Huppah is a multifaceted symbol.  It is a symbol of the home, a garment, and a bedcovering.  Specifically, it recalls Abraham's tent.  Abraham, known for his hospitality, had his tent open on all sides so that everyone would know that they were welcome.  Abraham was also promised that his descendents would be as numerous as the stars.  Thus, it became a custom to hold the ceremony underneath the stars.

There is an ancient custom, which is not mandatory, that the bride circle the groom either three or seven times.  There are many interpretations of this.  Circling is a magical means of protection also this may be seen as the bride binding the groom to her.  (Or as Shanna has been telling me, it will mean I own you).  The number seven appears often in Judaism, most importantly the seven days of creation in the Torah.  Three circles correspond to the obligations of a husband to a wife. 

The only requirement for a huppah is that it is a temporary handmade structure.   Often, a Jewish prayer shawl, or tallit is used.  We are very fortunate that Shanna's grandmother, Vergie, is making our huppah.

The Betrothal - Erusin

In ancient times the wedding ceremony was two ceremonies separated by as much as a year.  In the eleventh century the ceremonies were combined although each has a different flare. As with most Jewish simchas, each is marked by a glass of wine, which is the symbol of joy.

The first ceremony, erusin (betrothal) also called kiddushin, is the legal, tangible part of the wedding.  After the betrothal the couple was considered legally wed although the marriage was not consummated until after the second ceremony nisuin.

The ceremony itself consists of two blessings recited in Hebrew followed by the exchange of rings.  The first blessing is the kiddush is recited over a cup of wine

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe who has created the fruit of the vine

The second blessing celebrates the sanctity of marriage and is a reminder of the time when the betrothal preceded the nuptials by much longer than a few minutes.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has made us holy through Your commandments and has commanded us concerning sexual propriety, forbidding us to (women) who are merely betrothed, but permitting to us (women) who are married to us through huppah and kiddushin.  Blessed are You, Lord our God who makes Your people Israel holy through huppah and kiddushin.

In a traditional Jewish ring ceremony the groom places the wedding ring on the right index finger of the bride.  Witnesses must see the bride accept the ring under her own will and therefore sealing the marriage agreement.  The groom than says this formula to the bride.

By this ring you are consecrated to me in accordance with the traditions of Moses and Israel

A relatively new custom is for the bride to give the groom a ring and say a line from the song of songs.

I am my beloved's and my beloved's is mine

The Nuptials - Nisuin

Following the Erusin there is typically some kind of separation, such as a reading and explanation of the ketubah, made between it and the next ceremony, the nuptials, Nisuin.  While the betrothal ceremony binds the couple to each other, the nuptials bind the couple to God.  The Nisuin consists of the seven blessings (sheva brachot) and begins with the blessing over wine.

1. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe who has created the fruit of the vine

2. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has  created all things in your glory.

3. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Creator of humanity.

4. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who made man in thine image and prepared for him, out of his very self, a woman, for human succession, blessed are You, Creator of humankind.

5. May she who was barren rejoice when her ch ildren are united in her midst in joy.  Blessed are You, Lord, who makes Zion rejoice with her children.

6. O cause these loved companions to rejoice greatly, even as You rejoiced in Your creation  in the Garden of Eden as of old, Blessed are You, Lord, who causes the bridegroom to rejoice with the bride.

7. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has created joy and gladness, bridegroom and bride, mirth and exultation, pleasure and delight, love, brotherhood, peace and fellowship.  Soon may there be heard in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and gladness, the voice of bridegroom and bride, the jubilant voices of bridegrooms from their canopies and of youths from their feasts of song.  Blessed are You, Lord, who causes the bridegroom to rejoice with the bride.

Breaking the glass

Despite being the universally recognized symbol of a Jewish wedding, the breaking of the glass is entirely customary.  There is no religious requirement for this act.  In the ceremony the broken glass marks a break between the rather solemn wedding ceremony and the levity of the mitzvah meal that follows. When the glass is broken everyone shouts "Mazel Tov!" (Congratulations! or literally, good luck). Ironically, a traditional interpretation of the breaking of  the glass is as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and that the losses of the Jewish people must be remembered even in times of rejoicing.

Union - Yihud

Following the ceremony the bride and groom traditionally spend ten to fifteen minutes alone.  This is an echo of ancient days when the couple would consummate the marriage immediately following the ceremony.  Today, it is customary for the bride and groom to share a light snack or meal together as well as savor the events that just took place under the huppah.  Traditionally the bride and groom have fasted all day and they break the fast together, their first meal as husband and wife.

The mitzvah meal - S'eudah Mitzvah and Joy - Simcha

Every Jewish event involves food.  Perhaps this is why fasting on Yom Kippur attracts so much attention.  The meal that follows a wedding, as well as other major life-cycle events such as brit milah and bar or bat mitzvah, is a s'eudah mitzvah or a meal accompanying the fulfillment of a divine commandment. 

Simcha is a Hebrew word which means "joy", as well as "celebration of a joyous event".  The purpose of Jewish wedding parties is to increase the happiness of the bride and groom.  At a wedding everything that increases simcha praises God.