 |
Attracting Marital Fulfillment, Its Not To Late To Start Right Now
As a personal and professional development coach, I have listened to scores of unhappy marital stories from clients. It is not my intention to pose as a marriage counselor nor therapist, as I am neither. However, via my previous experience as a crisis counselor, and as a partner in an intercultural marriage with its own unique characteristics, I have built up a store of helpful tips, some of which I share with you below. "To those who choose to marry with love, knowledge and commitment"
is the dedication line in a very important book in my life. This is one of the pre-marital workbooks I used to assess to what extent my husband and I were compatible for marriage. It offers information and questions that help couples examine their attitudes and expectations for married life. Difference in expectations is a common cause of marital discord, and the most unfortunate part is that these expectations are often not discussed prior to making wedding vows. After all, before tying the knot, couples are in that magical state of euphoria and seeming invincibility. "Love conquers all" is the ubiquitous message in popular music and movies. Admittedly, the pedantic, almost arduous activity of talking through pages and pages of questions in preparation for marriage can be a bit daunting. Yet taking the time to do so is guaranteed to save the potential bride and groom time and heartache. Afterward finishing the process, some couples may find out what they may fear most, that they need more time to decide if they are ready to commit their lives to one another. It's better to learn this before the knot is tied. Of course, there is no guarantee that after having gone through a pre-marital question and answer process that a marriage will be trouble-free. However, you will have gained invaluable insight into crucial areas that can make or break-up a marriage, and you will be better prepared to handle issues as they come up. Whether you're planning to wed or are already wed / in a committed relationship, and would like more fulfillment, using a pre-marital workbook to help you and your partner explore issues is a sensible idea. The dedication line above is from the book Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook: How to Really Get to Know the Person You're Going to Marry, by Jerry D. Hardin and Dianne C. Sloan, Thomas Nelson Publishers, ©1992. There are other books out there that have similar purposes, this happens to be the one I know best since I've used it in my own marriage. This book does a fairly thorough job of covering the issues, such as: emotional love
behavioral patterns
family backgrounds
communication
friendship love
time management
perceptions
listening
commitment love
attitudes
household management
financial management
expectations
honesty
covenants to one another
conflict resolution
priorities
anger
ghosts that each partner brings into the marriage
religious beliefs
sexuality
child planning/rearing
lifestyles Some of these topics may be awkward, yet the book does the job of broaching them for you. The discussion process can be fun, even romantic if you let it be so. And, face it, whether you choose to deal with these issues before or after you walk down the aisle, they will be dealt with in one way or another. For those who have already tied the knot, it's not too late to discuss these issues on an as-needed basis. One thing I like about this book is its covenants - promises that partners make to one another, complete with signature lines. Those signatures serve as a standing record of your mutual honor and commitment. Do you have questions about the pre-marital/post-marital discussion process? Contact me at mailAThersheywier.com (substitute @ for AT) Copyright 2005, Hershey Wier Hershey Wier, BS Education, MBA, is a Career & Self-Development Specialist specializing in holistic, creative approaches to career and life transitions. Visit http://www.HersheyWier.com
MORE RESOURCES:
|
Prop 8: Gay-Marriage Ruling Expected TodayTIMEVIDEO: A Gay-Marriage Wedding Video The 9th Circuit does not typically give notice of its forthcoming rulings, and its decision to do so Monday reflects the intense interest in the case. Even if the panel upholds the lower court ruling, ...and more » |
|
rachel-greenwald-criticsWestwordHer only definition of success (aside from her own hefty financial take, apparently) is a marriage, wedding and honeymoon, and she admits even that success is rare. If there is so little enduring happiness or success in her business or the matches she ... |
|
Scotland's opposition parties back same-sex 'marriage'LifesiteAt the signing event, which included cutting an “equal marriage†wedding cake, Conservative Party leader Ruth Davidson said, “I support the Equality Network's Equal Marriage campaign. … The Scottish Government will bring forward legislation on gay ...and more » |
PerezHilton.com |
J.Lo Isn't Thinking About Marrying New BF Casper Just Yet!!PerezHilton.comTags: bride, casper smart, divorce, hearts and fuzzies, jennifer lopez, jlo, love, marc anthony, marriage, wedding So we've heard what Paula Abdul had to say about getting fired, and we heard what Nicole Scherzinger had to say about the ax. |
Google News
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Wedding Shower Favors
Wedding shower favors are a way to extend gratitude from the bride-to-be and her maid of honor, to the guests of the wedding shower, for providing wedding gifts to the bride before the wedding day. Wedding shower favors can be elegant trinkets or small humorous gifts.
Arizona Wedding Reception
The Arizona Inn is just the place that you are looking for if you seeking for neat and well-cared for lawns and trees combined with lush gardens and a serene view. Apart from that, this inn is also filled with fragrances of roses and oranges as well as eye-catching fountains.
Balance - Wedding Budget Blues
Let's think about what goes into your wedding budget. Your caterer/banquet facility will get the lion's share of it.
How to Keep Hope Alive During a Marriage Crisis
During a marriage crisis, you can feel like your whole world is falling apart and all of your dreams are being shattered. Hearing the words "I don't love you anymore," "I want a divorce," or "I don't know if I want to stay married" can leave you reeling from the shock.
Fine Plus Size Mother Of The Bride Dresses
There are many choices available when shopping for fine plus size mother of the bride dresses. The styles and selections available in plus sizes are better than ever.
Wedding Insurance - Peace of Mind for Your Perfect Day?
With the average cost of a wedding around £17,000 you would think that more couples would take out wedding insurance just in case something happens to spoil the special day. However, an estimated 85% of couples planning to get married do not bother with insurance.
Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex
It's really not difficult to ruin what could have been great sex. If that's your goal, following these twelve suggestions will ensure that, over time, your spouse will become very creative in finding ways to avoid having sex with you.
Make Your Honeymoon an Everlasting Experience
Honeymoon is the most wonderful time of every couple's life. It is a time to move away from all the hustle and bustle and to relax in the arms of your partner in your own world.
How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 6
It wasn't the wedding of the century. Six people in all arrived at St.
Control Issues That Cause Marriage Problems
Have you ever been irritated because your spouse does things differently than you do? Do you get upset if he or she has different opinions and makes different choices than you would? If so, you have bumped up against some of your own personal control issues and triggers in your marriage. Here are three important points to consider:1.
Diamond Hunting
Diamond hunting can be quite traumatic for the uninitiated. It is a big purchase and often one that has high emotional content.
Prescription for a Happy Marriage
Prescription for a happy marriage: one cup of tea or coffee, to be taken each morning before rising.Sounds simple, doesn't it? And yet every year thousands of couples head for the divorce courts, or make pre-nuptial agreements in the expectation that the marriage will fail.
Is Your Heart Set On An Antique Engagement Ring?
As Mark Twain said "Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all." And don't we all agree?Antique engagement rings have become all the rage in recent years, particularly with famous brides like Madonna, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Camilla Parker-Bowles all sporting vintage-inspired engagement rings.
Loose Moissanite Stones, A Great Way to Buy Your Moissanite Jewelry
Moissanite is fast becoming the new diamonds. The newest jewelry stone on the market, moissanite is fashionable.
Wedding Favors That Embrace Nature's Beauty
A wedding planned in the spirit of nature provides the perfect opportunity for selecting wedding favors fashioned after elegant symbols consisting of, but not limited to maple leaves, butterflies, lavender buds, and roses. While there is certainly no shortage of wedding favors available today that are inspired by nature, those that are carefully designed with distinctive style and artistic detail remain popular choices.
Marriage Counseling Advice: Give Your Spouse Space to Breathe and Grow
When you're married, the boundaries between yourself and your spouse aren't always clear. For some people, marriage brings the expectation of spending as much time as possible with a spouse and doing most things together.
Why You Should Buy that Wedding Gift from the Gift Registry - OR, the Wedding Gifts from Hell!
When you come to choose a wedding gift it's no wonder that marrying couples issue a wedding gift registry. It's how to get exactly what you want; here are some true-life stories of the worst wedding gifts ever.
What Makes The Best Wedding Anniversary Gift?
Choosing a wedding anniversary gift that wows your husband or wife can rate high on your anxiety list; your anniversary is an occasion where the thought counts even more than the gift. The idea that your loving spouse should "know what I want" can lead to disappointed expectations, as men and women tend to have radically different ideas about what "romantic" means.
Ending Co-Dependence
Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals make an unconscious contract with each other to try to satisfy the unmet needs of the other. Initially, especially in the case of a couple, this contract is defined as "love".
Las Vegas Hotel Weddings
"Las Vegas hotel weddings give you tons of options. You can pick your setting - from the minimal downtown hotels to the lavish hotels on the strip; pick your city - from Venice to Paris, from Monte Carlo to good old New York; and pick your style - from tuxedoed, buttoned down formal to tie dyed, long haired sixties radical.
|
